Meet Them Where They Are!

Louie and I had arranged to meet Zig, our trainer and his dog, Deliah, at a dog park one crisp autumn morning. Deliah is every pet owner's dream—obedient, well-behaved and playful.  By contrast, Louie usually spent his time at the park scouting out the surroundings, greeting new dogs entering the park, and trying to get his hair to stand up so he would appear larger than he is. Besides Louie and Deliah, there were two other dogs and the three of them were running and jumping, while Louie was marking every tree in sight, sometimes two or three times, making sure everyone would know he had been at the park.

Every once in a while Louie would start running and invariably, get the other dogs to chase him. He is incredibly fast and very agile and usually very tough for other dogs to catch. But after a good run, he would go right back to marking trees and inspecting the fence to see if there was any place to escape.

Zig, decided to throw a ball for Deliah to catch, hoping Louie would jump in on the fun. He’d throw the ball, Deliah would chase after it, and then bring it back to present it to her master. They did this routine over and over again with little to no attention from Louie.

Finally Zig told me he was going to throw the ball right at Louie to see how he would react.  The ball breezed through the air, bounced on the ground and gently knocked Louie right in the chest. Louie stood there looking as though there was something wrong with us; why would we throw a ball at him?

Zig crossed his arms and said, “I am amazed. I have never seen anything like this. This poor dog doesn’t even know how to play.” I thought to myself, that’s crazy. Every dog knows how to play, right? It’s innate--they just play! Surely he knows how to play, he just chooses not to.

But after several attempts to engage him in playful activities that most dogs love, I had to agree that Louie simply didn’t know how to play. I had assumed, wrongly, that playing comes naturally to all dogs.

Leader, isn’t that just like us? We assume that a title or a certain amount of experience guarantees ability. But while a person may be capable, there are other variables (new job, new organization, new leader, new goals, etc.) that may impact their need for more direction.  Here are some tips to help you avoid making assumptions that could hinder productivity and relationship.

• Don’t make assumptions; be willing to learn about others. 
• Understand where people are in their ability to do the task.
• Give clear directions, ask questions, and check in to see how their progress is going.
• Invite them to ask questions to ensure mutual understanding.
• Learn to be a Situational Leader (The Ken Blanchard Companies, SLII); fine tune your leadership behavior skills and provide the help your team needs to develop into top performers.

Surprisingly, Louie needed to learn to play. After working with him for some time, we now play fetch and wrestle a bit (until he opens that big mouth of his to engulf my entire head), and he loves to play with my neighbor’s dog, Eve. I met him right where he was and he is developing nicely into a fun loving dog….who loves to play!

Actually, this is how God treats us. Contrary to what we may believe, we don’t have to be perfect to be in relationship with God because he is more than willing to meet us right where we are. We might not know all the right things to say or do, but God gives us grace right where we are so we can enjoy who we were created to be.

Louie and his gal pals!

Eve

Deliah

We Don't Always Choose Whom We Lead!

“Why did you get that dog anyway?” a friend asked as we were eating, exasperated with Louie who had finally settled down after attacking her at the door. “He’s so different from what you’ve been used to.” (See picture of my past dogs).

Good question, I thought to myself. Why did I get him? As I'm typing, he is trying to “bury” his chewy toy behind the sofa in the family room, and I have to shake my head and wonder. I’ve been accustomed to soft and fluffy, somewhat dainty, little dogs. There is nothing soft and fluffy about Louie, and certainly nothing dainty! And on days where the temperature is -5 degrees and we have to “go” outside, I have to ask why?

Well, I love him, first and foremost. And I did choose him, and it was not an emotional decision. He had character and a presence and I knew he needed me…and I needed him. That’s not how we typically select our employees, but sometimes when we accept a leadership position, there are people we lead whom we would like to help find other jobs. We shake our heads and wonder why on earth they are part of our team.

They may not act in familiar ways, they may seem a bit quirky, and there are probably days we wish they would simply resign. Then we start seeing signs of hope, we genuinely give affirmations and suddenly, we see improvement, ever so slight, but it’s there. We notice their contributions to the team, and our one-on-one times are more fulfilling.  We notice that they have hidden exceptional characteristics and potential, even though they lack what WE believe they need in order to be an exceptional employee.

Just like Louie, some people we lead are diamonds in the rough.  They appear very ordinary at first glance, and their true beauty as jewels is only realized through a very difficult process. A good leader is often faced with the dilemma of either taking time to invest in a person or deciding it’s time to let them go.

I believe every interaction we have with another human being has a purpose. And when I find myself spending time with someone because our roles intertwine, I must take a look at how I can best invest in this person’s life. I am willing to invest in others who:

• Show genuine interest in professional and personal growth
• Have a sense of self awareness and a personal vision

• Are open to and welcome feedback, coaching and mentoring

• Are committed to learning

• Are willing to take risks

• Posses self-management skills


As leaders we must be willing to invest in others, especially those who are so different from our expectations.  Sometimes we toss people aside because they don’t meet our needs or measure up to our standards.  A good leader recognizes that some people are placed in our life for the very purpose of refining us. Are we willing to give them our time, and invest in them? I realize there are times we do need to help others find another job, but most times it takes a refining process to bring out the best in others, and ourselves.

Louie is still burying his chewy and I am still shaking my head. I don’t mind spending time pouring into him because I see the potential and personality and I am the richer person for giving away my heart and my time!