What Are Your Strengths? A filmed interview with Louie!

I’m sorry to admit it but we’ve had a bit of a setback. Louie and I have been working incredibly hard and doing very well. He has improved his greeting when people come to the door, although he did have a “strong” reaction to the guy who was repairing my air conditioner. However, $650 later, I think Louie was on to something so I let that one go.

Then there was the time he tried to tear down the door to get to the adorable pizza delivery girl. Personally, I don’t blame him since Jet’s deep-dish pizza was on the other side.  Thankfully, he settled down while I was handling the transaction and was quite well behaved.

But neither of those incidents was the setback. It is much worse and with apologies to our very capable trainer Zig, I am not sure there’s any hope for changing him. You see, he is scared to death of cats. Any color and any type of cat-- he is terrified. Unfortunately, it does not help that during our walks he can see them skulking across the street several yards away.

I’m not sure what happened to cause such a strong reaction. It is more than just the normal dog/cat thing. He actually shudders. Evi thinks the nick on his ear is from a cat. How she deducted that, I have no idea, but she may be correct. He relives the deep emotional trauma brought on by a cat in his past every time he sees one, and this has been detrimental to his life’s journey—that is, of having fun and happily socializing with other beings in the neighborhood.

But it has occurred to me that Louie has no idea how strong he is. Cat lovers, you may want to stop reading at this point because it won’t be pretty. Louie doesn’t know that his 40-pound muscular frame could dominate a cat and his mouth is so huge and powerful that one chomp…well, you know where I’m going with this. Yet he doesn’t show any signs of aggression toward them; he just whines, shudders and tries desperately to run away. It’s unsettling that he gets so upset and the cat doesn’t even acknowledge a dog is in the area. When faced with a feline, he just needs to keep walking. But he feels the need to alert the entire neighborhood that a wicked cat is in the vicinity, and everyone needs to take cover!

Just like Louie, some of us are oblivious to our strengths. We don’t know how strong we are in certain areas and what we are truly capable of if we operate out of our strengths? Many of us let fear, doubt and insecurity rule our minds and this causes us to miss tapping into our talents.. On the other hand, some of us think so highly of ourselves that we overestimate our strengths. And imagine the amount of untapped talent we have within our own team because they are not aware of their strengths.

Many of us have taken assessments that indicate our strengths and these are great tools. But I find the best form of assessment is asking people who will speak truth into my life and give me honest feedback. If you have adult children, ask them to tell you your strengths and weaknesses.

My daughter, Marisa, has always been a wonderful truth teller in my life. Years ago, she had to do a high school project about her hero. She read her final report to me and I was impressed with the characteristics she described and the impact this person had in her life. Moreover, I was amazed to learn I was that hero. I certainly did not see myself in that same light but it inspired me to act out of those strengths.

Some time ago, a study was done called “Reflected Best Self Exercise,” which is based on research by Robert Quinn, Jane Dutton, Gretchen Spreitzer, and Laura Morgan Roberts. They shared how to go about assessing your strengths by gathering feedback from those around you who know you best.

Many of us are like Louie in that we operate in fear because we don’t recognize where we are strong. It has taken me years to identify my strengths and understand how to operate in them. As a leader, my role is help others recognize their strengths and empower them to cultivate those strengths. I know from experience that helping someone discover their strengths is a blessing not just for that person, but to everyone in their sphere of influence.

NOTE: I decided to interview Louie specifically for this blog (AMATEUR VIDEO :-):
INTERVIEW 1
INTERVIEW 2 (Louie thinks he's funny)

A Testament of Love!

“He is a totally different dog than he was when I first met him!” My friend could not get over the difference in Louie over the last several months. When she visited in September, he almost bit her head off and was very guarded while she was in my home.

 

Yet, during her recent visit, he was all smiles, tail wags, and kisses. She noticed that even his eyes were brighter and exuded love. In fact, my neighbors comment that he is so fun to see while we’re on our walks—such a different dog.

 

This was no accident—it was very intentional on my part to pour love into little Louie. What a transformation!

 

In my first Louie’s Leadership Lessons blog post, I took a chance and wrote about showing him unconditional love, knowing how the business world viewed the “L” word in the workplace. In fact, I once worked for a boss who could barely utter the word “love,” much less show it. Unfortunately, it was one of the most toxic cultures in which I’ve ever worked. Unless you’re capable of showing authentic love to your employees, you will most likely cultivate a very toxic culture. Don’t confuse being nice with demonstrating love. They are two different qualities. Love is a heart issue!

A few months after my blog on love, Harvard Business Review published a study that demonstrated that when employees feel loved, they perform better. They made a distinction between friendship kind of love and romantic love (friendship love is based on warmth, affection, and connection, rather than passion). They stated,  “It is the small moments between coworkers — a warm smile, a kind note, a sympathetic ear — day after day, month after month, [Danise’s Note: on a consistent basis] that help create and maintain a strong culture of companionate love and the employee satisfaction, productivity, and client satisfaction that comes with it.”

 

On the flip side, my observation has been that when a boss tries to manufacture these qualities but their behavior demonstrates otherwise, it breeds fear and mistrust among their employees.

 

May I be so bold as to take this a step further? I think it is virtually impossible to feel joy or experience peace in your life if you’re incapable of love. There’s no way you can be patient with others without love, or show kindness or be good, or be faithful to your word, or be gentle or exhibit self control…without love. All of these excellent characteristics are rooted in love.

 

It wasn’t easy for me to show consistent, genuine love to Louie. And it has been even more difficult to show love to those who are unlovable, demanding or different from me, and even those who have disappointed me. But I know what true love is and I stand amazed that God so loves me! Who am I to withhold that love from people who may need it most?

   

I chose Louie, difficult personality and all. Granted, we usually do not get to choose those we are commanded to love in the workplace. But someone in your space could be transformed because you choose to love them.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms and grandmas reading this post! Show some love!