Just Be!!

I was sitting outside working on my computer—writing, emailing, information gathering, compiling reports—all the necessary tasks for an entrepreneur. It was a beautiful morning, and I was feeling quite proud of my productivity. During my flurry of activity, I noticed one thing that didn’t move the entire time I was working—Louie!

He wasn’t asleep; he was lying down but fully awake. Sometimes he does this while looking out into the trees scouting for some creature that might walk across his kingdom…but not this time. He was just being! He was quietly and serenely just taking in every bit of beauty around him. I have no doubt that he thought it was all for his pleasure alone.

As I watched him, I thought, “It must be nice to be a dog and relax on the deck while his owner works to provide a nice home and good food.” Then I had to laugh. Louie was teaching me a lesson that took me years to grasp and yet it is so easy to move away from—how to just be! It is so easy to get caught up in the mode of more, more, more – More work, more networking, more socializing, more Facebook posting, etc. It’s a merry-go-round that many of us don’t even realize we’re on until we burn out.

I’m not sure what Louie was thinking as he quietly watched and observed nature, but I gently closed my computer and watched and listened as well. Ahhh, there it was, something I had been missing—peacefulness. Most of us never take the time to practice being still and emptying our minds of all the stuff that clutters our thinking and our wellbeing. And as leaders, this is crucial to our ability to lead well. I recently heard someone say if you scramble the word listen, you’ll get the word silent.

Society tells us that if we are still and quiet, we’re not doing anything of value. But in fact, that may be our most productive time of creativity or processing through an issue…or praying about how to respond to something.

Recently, something disturbed my peacefulness and my typical response would have been to bury myself in activity in an effort to squelch my mounting anger and bitterness. I received a “gift” cleverly disguised as gossip. While my initial reaction was to do something, to clear up the wrong and let everyone know it was a lie…I decided to do what Louie does and just be. As I took a few moments to process, I relaxed and emptied my mind of such nonsense. As a result the morsel of gossip became laughable and my heart broke for the person who originated the statement. In truth, the “gift” I received was to practice my quietness by being still and not responding or reacting in a way that I would regret later. And as it frequently does, the truth prevailed.

I know of another leader who demonstrated the leadership quality of “being” and of quietness. Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges, who wrote Lead Like Jesus, shared the five habits of Jesus. The first one is Solitude. “Jesus modeled solitude as an integral, strategic component of His leadership. In solitude and prayer, away from the hopes and hurts of those who looked to Him with high and compelling expectations, Jesus again received instructions on the best use of the next day from the Father.” This also gave Jesus the fortitude and ability to stand up to others who gossiped, mocked and eventually crucified him. He didn’t draw a sword nor spew angry words, yet his quiet spirit shook people to the very core of their being. Now that’s power!

Just being is necessary for us to make excellent decisions that affect our lives and those around us. Be intentional about being still.

To celebrate Louie’s sweet ability to be still, we are taking the summer off from blogging to focus on other writing projects, two adorable grandbabies and my clients whom I truly enjoy “being” with! If you miss him, check his YouTube Channel for an occasional video clip of Lou!

We’ll see you in the Fall and we hope you enjoy a peaceful and restorative Summer.

Evi and Louie's agenda for our Allday Funday Fridays!

What Are Your Strengths? A filmed interview with Louie!

I’m sorry to admit it but we’ve had a bit of a setback. Louie and I have been working incredibly hard and doing very well. He has improved his greeting when people come to the door, although he did have a “strong” reaction to the guy who was repairing my air conditioner. However, $650 later, I think Louie was on to something so I let that one go.

Then there was the time he tried to tear down the door to get to the adorable pizza delivery girl. Personally, I don’t blame him since Jet’s deep-dish pizza was on the other side.  Thankfully, he settled down while I was handling the transaction and was quite well behaved.

But neither of those incidents was the setback. It is much worse and with apologies to our very capable trainer Zig, I am not sure there’s any hope for changing him. You see, he is scared to death of cats. Any color and any type of cat-- he is terrified. Unfortunately, it does not help that during our walks he can see them skulking across the street several yards away.

I’m not sure what happened to cause such a strong reaction. It is more than just the normal dog/cat thing. He actually shudders. Evi thinks the nick on his ear is from a cat. How she deducted that, I have no idea, but she may be correct. He relives the deep emotional trauma brought on by a cat in his past every time he sees one, and this has been detrimental to his life’s journey—that is, of having fun and happily socializing with other beings in the neighborhood.

But it has occurred to me that Louie has no idea how strong he is. Cat lovers, you may want to stop reading at this point because it won’t be pretty. Louie doesn’t know that his 40-pound muscular frame could dominate a cat and his mouth is so huge and powerful that one chomp…well, you know where I’m going with this. Yet he doesn’t show any signs of aggression toward them; he just whines, shudders and tries desperately to run away. It’s unsettling that he gets so upset and the cat doesn’t even acknowledge a dog is in the area. When faced with a feline, he just needs to keep walking. But he feels the need to alert the entire neighborhood that a wicked cat is in the vicinity, and everyone needs to take cover!

Just like Louie, some of us are oblivious to our strengths. We don’t know how strong we are in certain areas and what we are truly capable of if we operate out of our strengths? Many of us let fear, doubt and insecurity rule our minds and this causes us to miss tapping into our talents.. On the other hand, some of us think so highly of ourselves that we overestimate our strengths. And imagine the amount of untapped talent we have within our own team because they are not aware of their strengths.

Many of us have taken assessments that indicate our strengths and these are great tools. But I find the best form of assessment is asking people who will speak truth into my life and give me honest feedback. If you have adult children, ask them to tell you your strengths and weaknesses.

My daughter, Marisa, has always been a wonderful truth teller in my life. Years ago, she had to do a high school project about her hero. She read her final report to me and I was impressed with the characteristics she described and the impact this person had in her life. Moreover, I was amazed to learn I was that hero. I certainly did not see myself in that same light but it inspired me to act out of those strengths.

Some time ago, a study was done called “Reflected Best Self Exercise,” which is based on research by Robert Quinn, Jane Dutton, Gretchen Spreitzer, and Laura Morgan Roberts. They shared how to go about assessing your strengths by gathering feedback from those around you who know you best.

Many of us are like Louie in that we operate in fear because we don’t recognize where we are strong. It has taken me years to identify my strengths and understand how to operate in them. As a leader, my role is help others recognize their strengths and empower them to cultivate those strengths. I know from experience that helping someone discover their strengths is a blessing not just for that person, but to everyone in their sphere of influence.

NOTE: I decided to interview Louie specifically for this blog (AMATEUR VIDEO :-):
INTERVIEW 1
INTERVIEW 2 (Louie thinks he's funny)

Me And You And a Dog Named Lou!

Louie needs a pack. He needs other four-legged buddies, and the more the merrier. He loves to play and frolic and just romp around because he truly enjoys being with other dogs.

However, it wasn’t that long ago that he displayed signs of fearfulness and timidity and wouldn’t engage in playful behavior with others. But as he has become an emotionally healthy dog, it is clear that he loves being part of a pack, which may consist of me, another dog, and maybe one or two other humans. His relational skills have increased tremendously and he is thoroughly enjoying life, not just surviving.

Why? Because he lets his need for others be known!

We’ve all heard the phrase, “We’re better together.” This is true for canines as well as humans. Here are some of the benefits Louie gets from being part of a pack:

•  He’s learned to negotiate when is the right time to take a chew toy from another.

•  He watches, listens, and learns from others what level of roughhousing is acceptable to them.

•  He learns how to problem solve by pulling a toy from the pile when another dog has his favorite.

•  He shares—what’s not to love about the communal water bowl?

•  He’s learned to resolve some “differences.” When one of his buddies is done playing, they let him know. He usually pays attention, though sometimes he’s like a bad little brother who finds joy in annoying you!

•  He’s committed and cooperates with others, especially on walks. He’ll let his friends know if he’s picked up a particularly interesting scent.

•  He encourages others! This could be mistaken as whining but by other’s reactions as he runs to greet them, I’ve believe this is Louie’s way of singing…Because I’m HAPPY; wag along if you feel like happiness is the truth!

•  He acknowledges and appreciates other's strengths—we’re still working on this one.

•  And finally—Louie loves Alpha Girls!

Louie continues to show me what it takes to be a great leader. Teams and relationships are necessary for our growth—we ARE better together. Appreciating and valuing what others bring to the table regarding ideas, energy and connectedness is invaluable. Shutting down creative ideas because they are out of our comfort zone or because we didn’t think of them first will stagnate not only the team but also our personal growth.

Ken Blanchard says, “None of us is as smart as all of us!” We were created to be together and we go further with other people. And who knows? When we are intentional about being part of a team or a collective body of others and are open to thier ideas, we may actually learn something.

Are You Pouring Into Others?

Louie, feeling like a superhero
in his reflective vest!

Wow, six months has gone by fast! Louie and I have been together half a year, and we have learned so much from each other and are better for it. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how tough it was to get this far.

Louie went from lock down at 8:30 p.m. in a cushiony, penned area in my bedroom to a fluffy royal bed, completely opened. He goes to bed on his own (still at 8:30 p.m.) and even if he wakes up, he patiently waits for me to give the command, “Here.” Only then does he move off his bed.

While I have always been an early riser, it was an adjustment for me to get up, get dressed and get outside between 5:30 and 6:00 am… Now we do it every single morning, regardless of weather. And believe me, it’s not been easy with the kind of winter we’ve had!

He patiently sits as I fill up his food bowl and doesn’t move until I nod my head and say, “Go.” He walks by my side and rarely pulls and immediately sits prior to our walking across a busy street until I give the “Go” command. We’re still working on how he greets guests, but overall he has improved immensely.

So why such great improvement? Because I’ve poured energy into him; not for a few weeks—but for a solid six months. And I will continue to pour into him. I didn’t have to give him so much time and love. He probably would have been an average dog without any training or time. But I chose to pour into him with no real “return on investment” and certainly no guarantee that he would be worth my time.

These last six months have brought out the best in Louie. His trainer poured into us and now Louie’s true character and behavior has been given an opportunity to develop. No doubt, he is a much happier pup.

The significance of pouring energy into others is equally important for leaders. We can’t expect to hand over a manual, put the new team members through orientation, and check in with them occasionally. It takes consistent time and energy to bring out the best in people.

I am thankful for those along my journey who have poured into me. They didn’t need to, they chose to with no guarantees that it would work. I know many leaders who “mentor” others but there is always some sort of return for them. Rarely is it to make a difference in that person’s life—they are too busy for that.

I’ve had two mentors who made a difference in my life—I would not be the woman I am today without their love, time, wisdom, and accountability. They had nothing to gain by spending so much time with me, yet they did. Kathryn Rose Norman walked with me on my spiritual journey when no one else was willing (I was a lot like Louie; a little rough around the edges). She introduced me to Lynne Ruhl who also poured into me for more than a decade and continues to do so. Thank you seems so insignificant for what they did for me. I’m a lot like Louie in that I will seek to demonstrate my gratitude for a long time to come!  

Their investment in me has inspired me to invest in others. I rarely refuse to spend time with those who may need some guidance or encouragement, although I have nothing obvious to gain. I maintain healthy boundaries, but I always welcome an opportunity to invest in another’s life. Though I may not see an earthly “return,” in God’s economy, I am always richly blessed!

Now if I can just get Louie to stop using his big mouth (literally) when he plays and roughhouses! While I’m glad he’s playing, it’s clear we have more work to do—and that’s just fine by me.

Speaking of Superheroes!