What Are Your Strengths? A filmed interview with Louie!

I’m sorry to admit it but we’ve had a bit of a setback. Louie and I have been working incredibly hard and doing very well. He has improved his greeting when people come to the door, although he did have a “strong” reaction to the guy who was repairing my air conditioner. However, $650 later, I think Louie was on to something so I let that one go.

Then there was the time he tried to tear down the door to get to the adorable pizza delivery girl. Personally, I don’t blame him since Jet’s deep-dish pizza was on the other side.  Thankfully, he settled down while I was handling the transaction and was quite well behaved.

But neither of those incidents was the setback. It is much worse and with apologies to our very capable trainer Zig, I am not sure there’s any hope for changing him. You see, he is scared to death of cats. Any color and any type of cat-- he is terrified. Unfortunately, it does not help that during our walks he can see them skulking across the street several yards away.

I’m not sure what happened to cause such a strong reaction. It is more than just the normal dog/cat thing. He actually shudders. Evi thinks the nick on his ear is from a cat. How she deducted that, I have no idea, but she may be correct. He relives the deep emotional trauma brought on by a cat in his past every time he sees one, and this has been detrimental to his life’s journey—that is, of having fun and happily socializing with other beings in the neighborhood.

But it has occurred to me that Louie has no idea how strong he is. Cat lovers, you may want to stop reading at this point because it won’t be pretty. Louie doesn’t know that his 40-pound muscular frame could dominate a cat and his mouth is so huge and powerful that one chomp…well, you know where I’m going with this. Yet he doesn’t show any signs of aggression toward them; he just whines, shudders and tries desperately to run away. It’s unsettling that he gets so upset and the cat doesn’t even acknowledge a dog is in the area. When faced with a feline, he just needs to keep walking. But he feels the need to alert the entire neighborhood that a wicked cat is in the vicinity, and everyone needs to take cover!

Just like Louie, some of us are oblivious to our strengths. We don’t know how strong we are in certain areas and what we are truly capable of if we operate out of our strengths? Many of us let fear, doubt and insecurity rule our minds and this causes us to miss tapping into our talents.. On the other hand, some of us think so highly of ourselves that we overestimate our strengths. And imagine the amount of untapped talent we have within our own team because they are not aware of their strengths.

Many of us have taken assessments that indicate our strengths and these are great tools. But I find the best form of assessment is asking people who will speak truth into my life and give me honest feedback. If you have adult children, ask them to tell you your strengths and weaknesses.

My daughter, Marisa, has always been a wonderful truth teller in my life. Years ago, she had to do a high school project about her hero. She read her final report to me and I was impressed with the characteristics she described and the impact this person had in her life. Moreover, I was amazed to learn I was that hero. I certainly did not see myself in that same light but it inspired me to act out of those strengths.

Some time ago, a study was done called “Reflected Best Self Exercise,” which is based on research by Robert Quinn, Jane Dutton, Gretchen Spreitzer, and Laura Morgan Roberts. They shared how to go about assessing your strengths by gathering feedback from those around you who know you best.

Many of us are like Louie in that we operate in fear because we don’t recognize where we are strong. It has taken me years to identify my strengths and understand how to operate in them. As a leader, my role is help others recognize their strengths and empower them to cultivate those strengths. I know from experience that helping someone discover their strengths is a blessing not just for that person, but to everyone in their sphere of influence.

NOTE: I decided to interview Louie specifically for this blog (AMATEUR VIDEO :-):
INTERVIEW 1
INTERVIEW 2 (Louie thinks he's funny)

Are You Pouring Into Others?

Louie, feeling like a superhero
in his reflective vest!

Wow, six months has gone by fast! Louie and I have been together half a year, and we have learned so much from each other and are better for it. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how tough it was to get this far.

Louie went from lock down at 8:30 p.m. in a cushiony, penned area in my bedroom to a fluffy royal bed, completely opened. He goes to bed on his own (still at 8:30 p.m.) and even if he wakes up, he patiently waits for me to give the command, “Here.” Only then does he move off his bed.

While I have always been an early riser, it was an adjustment for me to get up, get dressed and get outside between 5:30 and 6:00 am… Now we do it every single morning, regardless of weather. And believe me, it’s not been easy with the kind of winter we’ve had!

He patiently sits as I fill up his food bowl and doesn’t move until I nod my head and say, “Go.” He walks by my side and rarely pulls and immediately sits prior to our walking across a busy street until I give the “Go” command. We’re still working on how he greets guests, but overall he has improved immensely.

So why such great improvement? Because I’ve poured energy into him; not for a few weeks—but for a solid six months. And I will continue to pour into him. I didn’t have to give him so much time and love. He probably would have been an average dog without any training or time. But I chose to pour into him with no real “return on investment” and certainly no guarantee that he would be worth my time.

These last six months have brought out the best in Louie. His trainer poured into us and now Louie’s true character and behavior has been given an opportunity to develop. No doubt, he is a much happier pup.

The significance of pouring energy into others is equally important for leaders. We can’t expect to hand over a manual, put the new team members through orientation, and check in with them occasionally. It takes consistent time and energy to bring out the best in people.

I am thankful for those along my journey who have poured into me. They didn’t need to, they chose to with no guarantees that it would work. I know many leaders who “mentor” others but there is always some sort of return for them. Rarely is it to make a difference in that person’s life—they are too busy for that.

I’ve had two mentors who made a difference in my life—I would not be the woman I am today without their love, time, wisdom, and accountability. They had nothing to gain by spending so much time with me, yet they did. Kathryn Rose Norman walked with me on my spiritual journey when no one else was willing (I was a lot like Louie; a little rough around the edges). She introduced me to Lynne Ruhl who also poured into me for more than a decade and continues to do so. Thank you seems so insignificant for what they did for me. I’m a lot like Louie in that I will seek to demonstrate my gratitude for a long time to come!  

Their investment in me has inspired me to invest in others. I rarely refuse to spend time with those who may need some guidance or encouragement, although I have nothing obvious to gain. I maintain healthy boundaries, but I always welcome an opportunity to invest in another’s life. Though I may not see an earthly “return,” in God’s economy, I am always richly blessed!

Now if I can just get Louie to stop using his big mouth (literally) when he plays and roughhouses! While I’m glad he’s playing, it’s clear we have more work to do—and that’s just fine by me.

Speaking of Superheroes! 

We Don't Always Choose Whom We Lead!

“Why did you get that dog anyway?” a friend asked as we were eating, exasperated with Louie who had finally settled down after attacking her at the door. “He’s so different from what you’ve been used to.” (See picture of my past dogs).

Good question, I thought to myself. Why did I get him? As I'm typing, he is trying to “bury” his chewy toy behind the sofa in the family room, and I have to shake my head and wonder. I’ve been accustomed to soft and fluffy, somewhat dainty, little dogs. There is nothing soft and fluffy about Louie, and certainly nothing dainty! And on days where the temperature is -5 degrees and we have to “go” outside, I have to ask why?

Well, I love him, first and foremost. And I did choose him, and it was not an emotional decision. He had character and a presence and I knew he needed me…and I needed him. That’s not how we typically select our employees, but sometimes when we accept a leadership position, there are people we lead whom we would like to help find other jobs. We shake our heads and wonder why on earth they are part of our team.

They may not act in familiar ways, they may seem a bit quirky, and there are probably days we wish they would simply resign. Then we start seeing signs of hope, we genuinely give affirmations and suddenly, we see improvement, ever so slight, but it’s there. We notice their contributions to the team, and our one-on-one times are more fulfilling.  We notice that they have hidden exceptional characteristics and potential, even though they lack what WE believe they need in order to be an exceptional employee.

Just like Louie, some people we lead are diamonds in the rough.  They appear very ordinary at first glance, and their true beauty as jewels is only realized through a very difficult process. A good leader is often faced with the dilemma of either taking time to invest in a person or deciding it’s time to let them go.

I believe every interaction we have with another human being has a purpose. And when I find myself spending time with someone because our roles intertwine, I must take a look at how I can best invest in this person’s life. I am willing to invest in others who:

• Show genuine interest in professional and personal growth
• Have a sense of self awareness and a personal vision

• Are open to and welcome feedback, coaching and mentoring

• Are committed to learning

• Are willing to take risks

• Posses self-management skills


As leaders we must be willing to invest in others, especially those who are so different from our expectations.  Sometimes we toss people aside because they don’t meet our needs or measure up to our standards.  A good leader recognizes that some people are placed in our life for the very purpose of refining us. Are we willing to give them our time, and invest in them? I realize there are times we do need to help others find another job, but most times it takes a refining process to bring out the best in others, and ourselves.

Louie is still burying his chewy and I am still shaking my head. I don’t mind spending time pouring into him because I see the potential and personality and I am the richer person for giving away my heart and my time!